The last time I caught up with one of my mama friends Beth, she & I were casually admiring our children play when she said to me: “do you remember, when you were pregnant, you were like: ‘how am I gonna do this all by myself?’ I squinted my eyes over her shoulder, searching my mind for the memory. I found nothing… I eyed her suspiciously… I didn’t remember that happening at all. EVER…
..But Beth was faaar too nice to gas-light me. In that moment, I realised something - that on my journey of post-traumatic-growth via single parenthood, I had forgotten something really important… I had forgotten to slow down for a minute & take in how far I had come. I’d forgotten to celebrate myself. Sound familiar?
My daughter has just turned five. FIVE! How the hell? Cue every cliché imaginable about time & how fast it flies… believe every parent that says this if you are not yet one yourself – for once, IT’S ALL TRUE!
Pre-child me thought she was organised, but compared to Single Mama me, she is hella pale. See, I’ve come to find that our adversities can truly improve us, if we are willing to learn from them.
I’ve learned so much over the last five years of being a solo mama, but for now, here are 5 of my top tips to help you stay feeling like you’re on top of your day, instead of waking up everyday feeling like you’re being dragged by it...
.. Because believe me – I’ve been there, I know how it feels & I've no desire to return. And once you start putting in the work to get on top of your day & ride the hell out of your life - you won't either.
Okay, get your notebook out, because here we go...
1. Create & commit to a morning routine that works for YOU!
Not the woman on YouTube that seems to have all her shit together, not the one on Insta who always looks flawless & surely has all her shit together, not the one who wrote a book telling you how to do it bc if she can write that many pages about it - then she surely she has her shit together?
SPOILER ALERT: No one has all their shit together all the time. Life is change.
The secret for your own success is to find what works for you!
Don’t let the world tell you what is good for you… you know what you love, be honest with yourself. Is it:
Singing in the shower every morning?
Getting up earlier to per-fect your make-up?
Do you fill your heart in the kitchen & want to spend time there in the morning scoffing pancakes on your own in the peace & quiet? Mmmmmm....
Whatever it is, get Gangster on your morning, make like Ice Cube & Do it- dooo ittt!
All too often we look outside of ourselves for things to make us feel good, when we hold the power inside all the time.
2. Do something today that your future self in the morning will love you for.
Because self love is the best kind of love and it sets the tone for all the ways in which we can love others.
Whether you make the packed lunches, get the morning’s clothes out the night before, tidy & clean the kitchen before you go to bed, or commit to all three.
Make those changes today & - Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
3. Encourage your child to be independent
As parents, there is one thing we really ought to be doing to build strong, healthy children & that is promoting their independence where-ever possible. PLUS - it makes for lighter work for us in the long run.
This means teaching your kids to tidy up after themselves. Put on their favourite music & clean up together to turn it into a fun family ritual that they will learn to enjoy. I am not going to lie, this may not come easy & you may meet some resistance in yourself and/or your child. But repetition will get you there.
Keep going babe. You got this.
4. Make a daily housework rota
Choose one area to focus on per day. Spend 30 minutes there & move the-fudge on.
5. Meal plan
Yes, really… take a little time each week to plan your meals. Make your weekly shop the same day every week. It really does make a difference, not only to your budget but to the organisation of your home.
And did you know? That studies have actually proven that those of us who have organised kitchens have healthier eating habits, then those with disorganised kitchens... oh yes. It's 100% T R U E !
If you're struggling to get your kitchen in shape, then reach out to me today for your FREE consultation & let's get you on track to making this year your best yet.