Sometimes we all get stuck in a rut. It's easy to fall into a feeling of hopelessness when we're tired and weary, but it's important not to stay there.
So, what's the secret of moving on? Of keeping life fresh and of always feeling inspired and motivated? The secret is not on a vision board, or even in your big life goals... your success is defined by the choices that you make everyday.
Here, I've listed some decisions I made, to build new habits in my everyday so that I could move forward in my life when I was stuck. These mostly simple, absolutely achievable and undeniably feel-good habits have turned my daily grind into a smooth ride. One where I feel I can afford to slow down and smell the roses. Isn't that what life is all about?...
1. Declutter, or organise an area in your home EVERYDAY.
The secret to this sauce? Don't set the bar high, in-fact set it low. Ridiculously low. Achievable for the most amateur of amateurs kind of low. Maybe you will just declutter a corner today. Maybe a drawer, maybe you'll just move your breakfast items near your kettle and toaster so that it's easier to access every morning, saving you time and energy everyday. The only rule is, that you show up, you give it a go and bonus- it's not only going to cleanse your home, but decluttering is some spiritual gangster, it's gonna cleanse your soul.
2. Get dressed up, at least one day of the week.
Babe, I'm gonna keep it 100% with you always... I don't get dressed up everyday. I mostly wear a uniform mon-fri that consists of sports leggings, a personalised tunic and a fleece if it's chilly, plus my trainers. I'm very minimal on the make-up (if I bother to wear it at all) I don't brush my hair if I wear it natural (curly) but one thing I do always have on fleek is my nails. I LOVE to see a pop of colour on my nails. It brings me joy. And when I get home from a long, usually physically, mentally and emotionally full kind of day, I've spent a lot of my high energy for the day and I'm ready to relax. So, I reach for the lounge wear or my pyjamas and I have no desire to change this. I'm happy with this. Dressing up everyday is not my idea of heaven. But dressing up at least once a week is. Find your magic number, find your happy medium. You deserve to wear beautiful clothes who express who you are and decorate your body however you want to. But don't force it and don't feel like you have to to abide by anybody else's standards when it comes to beauty. Do you. Express YOU.
3. Eat your five a day
I know, it sounds like a no-brainer, but it's super important. Food doesn't just replenish our bodies and provide it vital energy; it also affects our mood. There has been so much scientific research and evidence on this that experts now acknowledge our gut to be our 'second brain'.
If you have Adhd like me, or maybe you have a really busy lifestyle and you find it hard to keep a balanced diet, try taking some time out today to source healthy convenience foods to add to your regular shopping list. Source easy recipes, print them out and add them to a folder and keep this folder in your kitchen as a go-to for when you're meal planning and writing your shopping list. We only fall into bad habits when we are pressed for time energy and we don't have a better option available. If you create the better options, this doesn't have to be the reality at all. You can be ridiculously busy, live off of mostly convenience foods and still maintain a balanced diet.
I personally use a 3-tier system (subscribe to get your free guide!) that allows me to get some home-cooked food, convenient food and the odd treat. This system fits my own lifestyle and ensures I get my needs met.
I'd love to help you figure out yours too!
4. Write it out.
Writing has been my medium of choice when it comes to art since I can remember. It's how I create art, it's how I express myself and it's also: how I heal myself. I've been writing on a regular basis 26 years. Very little of what i have written has been published. When I was younger, I shared a lot of poetry on Myspace (remember those days anyone?) and though I had a really BIG following and a great pool of other artists I met online, I lacked the knowledge, discipline and drive to ever publish any of it. I didn't really know that, that could realistically be a thing for me, so I never pursued it. I lost a lot of that art. Myspace just randomly cleared everything one day, so after years of not logging in when I went back one day, i was mortified to see it had all gone. The main reason I went to log back in was to read over all those memories. That's the brilliant thing about poetry and journaling is that the emphasis is on capturing the truth. Journaling and poetry, like photography, captures true snapshot moments in time.
One of the most healing things anyone can do for themselves is to learn how to sit with themselves. Self-love is not all fluffy towels and bubble baths, it's meeting the darker sides of your psyche with compassion and willingness to understand. Through 26 years of writing my own shit out- often for nobody else to see but me- I have been to able really tap into and understand:
My insecurities and
Getting to know myself on such an intimate level has made me really self aware, but it's also made me more aware of others too. I always say: people can only meet you at a level in which they have met themselves.
Ever noticed how some people shut down when you get emotional? Somebody in your life died and one of your friends just didn't show up the way you wanted them too? Often, we take other peoples actions personally, when their actions, decisions and emotional processes have very little to do with us. Self work helps you to understand this on a vibrational level that reading this alone can never achieve. Journaling isn't difficult, there are no rules, except that you show up honestly.
There are some incredible journal prompts out there, I love this one by Dr Nicole Lepera @theholisticpsychologist on socials and it's 100% free guys
5. Read four pages a day.
If you're going to read before bed, make sure that it's something that feels comforting to your soul. Because your last thought of that day, how you drift off to sleep is really the baseline for the how well you're going to sleep that night. Limit electronics in the evening, read four pages of something inspiring, uplifting, or comforting and drift off peacefully.
Two bedtime books I recently read that I really love are Matt Haig's The Comfort Book, just full of beautiful, soulful gems to meditate on before sleep and Letters to a Young Poet which is full if simply profound and universally relatable prose on the human experience.
6. Write down your goals.
Did you know, that it's been scientifically proven that people who write down their goals are the ones who achieve them? You know what, it's really not that mind-blowing as to why... because in order to achieve our goals we need to get really quiet and really honest with ourselves and ask: What do I want?
The number one most common pattern I find in my clients who are not achieving their goals is this: they haven't intentionally put aside time and space in their lives to ask themselves this question for long enough to uncover the answer.
Rumi said it best: 'The quieter you become, the more you can hear. '
The best way to get on top of your goals is to break them down into subcategories, so there are yearly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals and daily goals.
7. Move your body.
Again, set the bar really low. Start off for 5-10 minutes. Set aside this special time for you each day. Check in with your body and observe how it feels. Movement, like music is a frequency. Many of us live in Yang energy. The world is built on high achieving, busy, creating, living from the neck-up type masculine yang energy, but we also need a balance to this. Which is why I love and am training to specialise in Yin Yoga. I personally find it harder to relax so this restorative style challenges me, while giving my body what it needs. But maybe your day-to-day reality isn't as physically, mentally or spiritually as demanding as mine? Maybe you need some fire, some yang energy to revitalise and breathe you into a new height. Some of my favourite practises for when I've been living Yin and need some Yang to counter-balance are workouts like Zumba (great for Adhd btw!) and HIIT.
It's also really important to note that you don't have to pay for or go to the gym to achieve this daily target. You can do it from the comfort of your own home and even in your pyjamas if you want to - I often to!
The research on how gratitude changes us is clear- it changes us for the better. People who practise gratitude in their lives are happier and more content with their lives. The trick to practising gratitude effectively is to being authentic, which is why I prefer to practise mine in the evening over a conversation with my daughter. We each talk about our highlight of the day, what we learned today and what we are grateful for. This exercise is so powerful for the mind, body and spirit.
Mediation is extremely beneficial for the body, mind and spirit. I take the time out to meditate every morning for at least five minutes. When I meditate, I'm more patient, time doesn't feel so fast. I feel more clarity and clear in my thinking, I also feel mor peaceful and more rooted to my strength. If I have a stressful day, but I meditate in the morning, I'm better equipped for it. But if I have a bad day and I don't meditate it really hits me. Did you know that meditation is now recommended by Mental Health practitioners and experts to be the first point of call when it comes to healing mild depression and anxiety. it also has the same effects on an Adhd brain as stimulant medication. Studies have shown that there are visibly clear benefits from meditation, such as improved focus, memory retention. It is also a really powerful tool to help with emotional dysregulation.
Please don't believe anyone, including yourself that says 'I can't meditate'. People who say this don't lack the ability to meditate, they lack the understanding of what meditating is. Meditating is becoming aware. It is not absence of mind chatter. It is not absence of feeling or thought, it is simply the practise of guiding yourself back to the awareness anytime your mind tries to distract you. With practise, you will begin to see that you are not you mind, your are something much deeper. You are the one who witnesses the mind and with regular practise and exercise you will be able to use the mind as an activity, rather than be dragged around by it as if it were your definitive identity- it isn't!
Breathwork is an integral part of Yoga, that is referred to as: 'pranayama.' 'Prana' meaning 'Life'. Because we are life and breath is what gives us life. As we move through life, we begin to notice that our breath can change depending on our emotions and circumstances. When we become panicked, our breathing becomes very rapid and shallow for example... and when the panic takes over we can become unaware of our breath entirely, to the point where the panic takes over and before we know it we are gasping for air because we have become so consumed in that panic that have forgotten to breathe. Have you ever experienced that? I have. I had some really heavy trauma in my late teens, that left me with ptsd and panic attacks. Breathwork was something I stumbled upon as a way to take control of the panic. I didn't even know breathwork was a thing back then, I just knew that focusing on my breath was the only way to regain control over my panic attacks and to heal my fear of them.
Breathwork has many benefits and can help us to handle all kinds of difficult emotions. It can also clear the mind, to help prepare it for meditation, it can help you sleep, it can be part of meditation and it can also be used to energise and raise our frequency to a higher state so that we can perform even better. Breath is life and if you learn to use it properly, it can help you to regain some control over your life. Your moods can't controlled sometimes, we run on hormones and as part of nature, we are seasonal creatures. We are not to be be, or feel in one state all the time, which is why striving for constant happiness is a set-up for depression and despair. Seek to explore and become a student of your life and be enthusiastic about learning the language of your breath so that you can take care of yourself and show up to the best of your ability, no matter what state you find yourself in.
That's it for now, but I have so much more to teach you! Book your free consultation with me here. Want to read more about things that have changed my life for the better, try reading this gem-of-a-post.
Sending you so much love!